Speaking of bruises

Last Thursday evening I fell. This was not a run-of-the-mill fall. This was a fall worthy of a Looney Tunes’ cartoon. I may have flown just before I landed. I don’t remember. I do know that one of my shoes ended up on the other side of the patio. That’s the entire length of the patio, not the narrower width. I also know I was fortunate to land on (ahem) ample padding. I might have broken my tailbone otherwise.

I was wearing my worn-somewhat-slippery-soled canvas shoes, and lost my footing on the edge of the top newly finished patio step. I went up and came down hard, hitting my posterior on a lower step’s edge, and scraping my entire left forearm and the palm of my hand trying to catch myself. My arm and hand are bruised. The left side of my ass is sporting a bruise — no, I think this might deserve the word hematoma, the likes of which I have never seen before. It’s fully outshining the mere contusion on my chest from last week’s foul ball. And it comes with a higher level of pain than I care to think on. Or sit on, for that matter. I have not slept well since, mostly because I cannot lie on my back for long, and lying on my left side is right out.

I suspect, however, that my discomfort is next to nothing compared to the Yarn Harlot’s. And she had to get back on a bike! Which I am not even going to think about doing for at least a week.

I was not going to post this entry. It seemed more than a little self-indulgent, and well, embarrassing. I still cringe at the thought that someone might have glanced out their back window just as I was flying through the air and slamming down hard on the patio steps. But I know that some of my readers enjoyed reading the Yarn Harlot’s blog over the month of December when I shared links to it on Facebook for the benefit of my knitting friends’ non-knitting loved ones. I suspect that some of my non-knitting friends thought her blog was mine, which is flattering, but not at all possible, really. For starters, I’m not Canadian. Also, I’m not a writer. Stephanie Pearl-McPhee is.

Anyway, I fell on my arse (as she would say) on a quick trip out to the back garden to water the basil. I hurriedly crept back in through the kitchen door so my neighbors would not hear me scream and then cry like a small child while I ran my forearm under cold water for a good little while. Stephanie had similar injuries, probably worse, and she climbed back on a bike without benefit of running water or the privacy of her own kitchen in which to weep. All for a very good cause. And this isn’t even the real ride! It’s the training part. So join me in supporting her efforts? Information is available on the blog entry in which she describes her own injuries and to which I have linked above. Thank you!


About pattiblaine

Raised under the name of Snyder in the upstate NY town of Vestal, I've worked as a typesetter, a fast food salad bar tender, an art reviewer, a waitress, a part-time nanny, and a very-bad-with-phones temp. Once upon a time I was all-but-thesis toward a Masters in Art History. Now I'm just a mom with a lot of fiber squirreled away throughout the house. We call it insulation. In 2013 I completed a life-long learning program at Colgate Rochester Crozer Divinity School, and am a postulant toward the diaconate in the Episcopal Diocese of Rochester, NY. In addition to coordinating volunteers for the soup kitchen, I volunteer as a tutor at a deeply impoverished city elementary school, and am a docent at the Memorial Art Gallery.
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10 Responses to Speaking of bruises

  1. Sarah says:

    Oh my! I hope you heal quickly! I highly suggest Arnica for your bruises. It will help them heal faster.

  2. Take care–last fall, a hemotoma (deep in my calf muscle) ended up getting infected–i engaged in wishful thinking (it will get better on its own, its just a bruise) until i ended up in the hospital for 5 days on IV anti biotics. (I felt so old–a mere bruise laid me low!)

    • pattiblaine says:

      Thanks, Helen. I am mindful of that possibility and am watching the thing as best I can. The visible part, which is extensive, seems to be doing what it should. I’m hoping the same is true for deeper injuries I can’t see but am feeling. Each day seems to be a little better thus far. I’m glad you are ok after your scare!

  3. D'Alta says:

    Oh, Patti, I did the same thing last winter, heading down our family room steps. Fortunately, I, too, have ample padding. Nothing broken but my pride. Fortunately, no one was here to witness the fly to the family room floor. Bump, bump, bump, bump, bump, splat!!! Force of arse hitting the steps threw me up onto my knees and hands. Huge bump on my wrist caused me to call my doctor, who ordered x-rays of back, knees and said wrist. What does one say happened??? It’s only the bruises that tell the story of what was struck on the way down… Heal well!!!

    • pattiblaine says:

      There’s another thing to be grateful for: Only three steps to the bottom and end of my fall! Yikes, but yours sounds much much worse, Dorothy! I cannot imagine what one more step would have done to me.

  4. Robyn says:

    Oh Patti! You are having a rough time! Are the neighbors eyeing Bruce in a more guarded way yet? (that was a joke…) You definitely sound ready for some silent sitting still…if only to heal those bruises!!

    • pattiblaine says:

      He definitely prefers that I cover them up in public. Too bad it’s been too warm for long sleeves!

      I hope the car ride to the Hudson is tolerable. I was ready to get out of the car and walk home on the Thruway last Sunday night when we were returning from Keuka Lake. I reached a tipping point of discomfort, sitting in the car after about half an hour. The ride down was fine. But it was only an hour and a half long. Not five… !

  5. Marianne says:

    Yuck! Falling is the worst! I hope you feel better soon!

  6. Scott Erdley says:

    Patti, maybe more painful than mine but I certainly can empathize with you when I broke my left elbow at the gym in late February. I must admit running & hiding were also my initial instincts. However embarrassment proved the actual emotional winner. Getting health has never been more painful. I admit, too, yours was, and most likely remains, a bit more colorful than mine.
    Again, so sorry to hear of your tumble and your chest intrusion into the flight of the baseball (sounds like a song?). Hope you are soon to be well and sure of foot!

    • pattiblaine says:

      “Chest intrusion into the flight of the baseball” sounds like I did it on purpose! 🙂 And a song title, although an awkward one. Not sure I’ve got you beat on pain, Scott, but I’m sure I do on color. Even the mailman stopped and asked if I was ok when he saw my arm. My “oh that’s nothing you should see the rest of me” while wearing shorts and a t-shirt were probably not the most appropriate words I’ve blurted lately, but that’s what he heard!

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